Good day Readers.
Short update on how things are going before I really get into what’s ailing me. Week one of summer school has gone by, not as bad as I thought, but still tiring, I am settled into my new apartment which is great and things are getting on their way!
As I had mentioned before in a previous post, there is a man who, whether he likes it or not, is in my life and for the most part we have fun together. Ideally, we are right for each other…I think; or should I say, I believe that he is just what I’ve been looking for lately. He is extremely intelligent, articulate, he makes me laugh and from what I perceive, he cares about me. I haven’t said it out loud to him yet, but I care for him as well. There are so many obstacles in our way that he believes (and I am starting to also) that this whole thing is going no where or just that it can’t go anywhere. He and I have had many conversations about everything, but mainly this particular subject and we always arrive at the same conclusion that for me seems never ending, it won’t ever be done being talked about, there’s always more. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be with me or that he wouldn’t put aside some of the business that could plague his conscience…it’s much more than that; there’s a past relationship that, for lack of better words, screwed him over, there are professional boundaries that he is not daring enough to cross, “generational issues” that he himself has created-it is sincerely a never ending list that doesn’t have to be so long. The relationship thing I do understand, but the other things are indeed just ‘things’ that can be put aside when the moment should come that he realizes that I care for him and that we should pursue this. I believe that if I am willing to take precautions to protect him and myself during the day and to love him unconditionally through the times when things are hard or when we just can’t take sneaking and hiding, he should see that and know that “where there is a will there is a way”. Right?
Whenever we get to the point in our discussions where I just want to tell him-don’t you just ever let your guard down, put your concience to bed and let things happen in the moment? I wish he did do that. I think then he would see that maybe this could work out.
Age is just a number, we shouldn’t let it dictate who we talk to or don’t talk to and we definitely shouldn’t let it stop us from doing what our hearts will us to do.
Truly Yours,
Karla Bonenberger
